She and I
by StarShipDelta
Summary: After Kenshin tells Aoshi about Misao, Aoshi thinks back on Misao and how she never gave up on him, on what he's done, and on how he'll try and make it better.


_Disclaimer: I do not own RK, or anything related to it. I also do not own the song I paraphrased parts of this from. I know I should be updating my longer fics, but sometimes you gotta go where the plot bunnies pull you…_

_Authors Note: I took the title from a song of the same name. It's a Serbian pop song that my best friend sent me as part of a RK music video he made me as a present. I instantly fell in love with the song, and although the vid doesn't focus on A/M I thought of them after hearing it. Then when he translated it into English for me it seemed to fit them even better, which is where this sprang from. I guess it can't really be called a song-fic though because I paraphrased a translation from the original language to make it flow slightly better in English…_

_I set this after the part where Kenshin fights Aoshi for the second time, and tells him about Misao, then Aoshi starts thinking of her again after the others take off to find Shishio._

* * *

_**She and I**_

_She and I…_

Aoshi closed his eyes again, his chin dropping to his chest, his mind turning to her. What was she doing then?

_It was said time was like water, it would never slow_

He could never undo the things he had done, the things he had said, but was it too late to move ahead, could he repair the damaged he'd caused, the heart he had all but broken?

_Until I saw her_

The first time he'd seen her, she had been so small, just a child who needed protection. He had promised himself he would be that protection, and although he had never shown it, he loved the girl as she had loved him in return.

_She and I…_

But he had repaid that love with becoming the one thing he had promised himself never to be. A threat to her.

_No one had ever gone further_

No one else had ever been able to reach him like she had been able to. She could touch his heart, his soul like no other living being could have done. But he'd never let her in, clinging instead to his own pain and pride. His desire to become the strongest kept him from admitting the truth.

_When she is here, I don't want her_

He'd turned away, pushed her to the side. He'd kept himself apart from her, refused to see her. He'd told her never to show herself to him again. But on the inside he was crying for the opposite.

_If she leaves, I die_

He'd stayed hard and cold on the outside, but inside he was crying for her heal the wounds that no one else could touch, that no one else could understand.

_She and I…_

But how could he ask that of her? She didn't deserve to be with someone like him, a man as scarred, battered and blood covered as he was. He wasn't worthy of her adoration, she deserved so much more. So he kept himself shut off from her. It was for her, he'd told himself…

_We are as different as black and white_

They were opposites in everything, she was day, he was night, she was everything good and pure and alive in this world, while he was blacked, corrupted, dead to the world. He'd sold out everything he stood for, leaving it on her shoulders. She saw the world though eyes that he never could. How he wished he could see things like she did…

_My heart has taken flight_

It had hit him so much harder then he had thought possible, when that man, the Battousai he'd promised to kill, told him of Misao. How she had cried. Cried for him. His brave, unshakable Misao crying for him to return to her.

_She and I…_

Battousai had promised her he'd bring him back to Misao, but still he hesitated. Did he dare return? He most certainly wouldn't be welcomed with open arms, but he only cared what one little girl thought. Did he really mean that much to her?

_No one had ever gone further_

But she was hardly a little girl any more. She was a woman, she had grown, she had matured. She must have, to take over as Okashira once he left. But she still remained the only one who could sway him. Even when everyone else called him the enemy, she'd never given up on him. She'd never stopped loving him.

_When she is here, she is unwanted_

After what he'd done to the old man, the last person he'd wanted to see was her. When she appeared, somewhere in a dark corner of his clouded, angry mind and conscious her words, the hurt look she gave him he felt guilt for what he had done to her.

_But when she leaves, I am so desperate for her_

Part of him wanted to tell her he was sorry, to ask forgiveness for the unforgivable, but again the haze that controlled him had taken over again, he'd brushed her aside, walked away, and pretended he wasn't dying inside.

_I'll be honest, yes I have lied_

He had promised years ago to take care of her, but he had failed.

_I'm not faithful, but I'll try_

Even if he went back, he could not promise he would be perfect. He could not promise he would never hurt her again, but he could try. He had to try.

_If I was born over,_

He couldn't change his past…

_I would do it all over again_

If he could have, he would have done so much different, but all he could do was move forward…

_She and I..._

He knew what he had to do now. His mind was clear, and everything made sense. He would go back. He couldn't let Misao cry for him anymore, he'd already made her cry enough.

_It is as if I'm dreaming_

Her image drifted through his mind again, but instead of the tears he saw her brilliant smile. It was as if she already knew…her Aoshi-Sama was finally coming home.

_Love is born_

He felt a corner of his cold, buried heart start to warm. He would go back to Misao. And maybe…someday…he'd have the courage to tell her…

_She and I…_

Just how much he loved her…

_No one had ever gone further_

And how she'd saved him.

_She and I…._


End file.
